I will here copy an extract of a LinkedIn discussion about “Hidden sexual abuse”. While answering the question, I explained one of my ways of using EFT on the Inner Child, as I didn’t write on the “English spot” of the blog for a long while, I thought there might be a good opportunity to reconnect!
First of all, the beginning of the discussion, which gives the core of the problem : (you can follow the discussion there : http://www.linkedin.com/groupAnswers?viewQuestionAndAnswers=&discussionID=17513154&gid=1021667&commentID=20079256&trk=view_disc)
“Hidden sexual abuse
A client of mine came to me with questions about
relationships. When we dove into that topic, suddenly a hidden memory of sexual abuse came up. In a later session another one came up. This client has extreme problems dealing with this. She has
strong physical reactions ( like vomiting) tapping is not helping enough until know. I try to work disassociate with her, but she is diving in to it anyway. At the same time she is holding back
because she is too afraid for the emotional response.
I try to contact Lori Lorenz, but cannot find het email address.
Any help or tip will do..... »
A possible answer (mine !) :
My first thought was :
"what is wrong with vomiting ?"
As a therapist I would tap first first on however troubles me there.
I notice that whatever we may have dropped the control we still put a judgment.
And if the client challenges the judgment, vomiting could be a great thing.
Or challenges the "ability" to work with hot cases. I had a workshop the other day, with the weirdest abreaction (not to EFT, I never had any... but to some bad health news she had the very morning). I even thought to call the 18 - French equivalent of 911 !!! I just welcome that possibility and drop any questioning. From there it has been OK, with time, with lots of tapping and other tools. Eventually everyone was still "there" and together. It has been a great lesson !
And the patient will come back for some private sessions, feeling "safer" !
That could just be such an issue: feeling secure, not feeling judge.
Or judge "vomiting" the memory in a dramatic and very LIFEFUL way ! (Quite creative indeed).
Some need to "materialize" the progress.
In any case a good health check-up to valid zero organic trouble would also be my advise if it were "my case".
Now, how "help better" (once you allow yourself to let the patient need -why not- a long time) ? There again, some people just can't let go, and the praticien who suffers from that should question the "I, Rescuer of Humanship" issue, which i run into anytime I work with a collegue bothered by "not being good enough for a case"...
We all should tap that away for good !
Technically speaking (and of course no direct work on such an issue, in fact neither for others most of the time !) I'll advise to do what I call a "preterisation", it means not working on the person here and now (not only, not yet...) but on the kid she /he were.
Two ways there:
- Just mention loudly : "my name is"XXX" I am "XX" years old, even though... (whatever feeling felt or imagine !) I'm a gret kid ANYWAY"
- My favorite one, I thank Life for inspiring me !!!
(closing eyes, in a relaxed state, but it comes naturally, do not worry)
Do the movie technique, seeing the kid at the age of the abuse (OR at whatever age comes... you may have surprises !), you can get there by starting from the feeling NOW, and put the hand on WHERE it manifest in the body, then ask "when did you feel that the first time ?" and start from there, event though many times it is not the FIRST really, but eventually will lead to it.
Then, the person imagines entering the movie as the now grown up. Gets to meet the kid, introduces her/himself, asks the kid if he/she is welcome or not.
Respect that, please, come another time or at another age : you can ask the kid and know exactly what to do. Inner children are just great, very resourceful !!!
(from there when I say to address the kid it means you tell the grown up who just repeats insidely)
If ok, ask the kid : "how do you feel" (“why" is not an option I take there ! Rather ask "do you wanna tell me about it ?") and "Would you allow me to help you ?"
Then again, respect, and take your time... if you feel lost, just ask the kid "What do YOU want me to do ?" or another OPEN question (to be sure not to get a "no" !!!
When authorization is granted, ask if you can use EFT and start to explain a bit (just for fun : usually the kids says sthg like "eh, I know what it is" !!! I love that, opens to a bit of humor)
Then take the little hand and tap for the IP on whatever kid mentioned... and gently tap on the 7 points.
And remember that Life is one thing and its contrary so, take that into account while offering "matter" to the tapping.
Find you own ways to deal with the spiritual aspects of it, respecting the beliefs system of the patient.
When kid is ok, you can offer to bring her/him back with you, on the time line (you may meet other "kids" at other time, too long to explain but I trust you'll find what to do ! lol) and when here and now, find your own way to welcome that child in your heart, a safe and comforting place.
I love that exercise, it re-give the power to any "age" in us ! Including who we are NOW.
I hope this will help, and finish that long speech by insisting on the therapist side : "what bothers me when this happens in a session" !!!
'Coz : "whatever comes is ok"
Friendly and Sharing Regards »
That’s it, in one block and with far less misspellings than in the original draft !